on christmas day

merry christmas peeps =D

love the roast turkey and carrots

coleslaw

salad

grilled sausages

cream of mushroom soup

homemade bread

salad prawns

smoked salmon

this is what i call soulfood

100% homecooked by mom

stuffed myself till no space is left

didn't cared bout the carbs and sugar (well nothing really contained much sugar, and only had a bun, no other carbs)

ate lots of turkey and roasted carrots (my fav)

drank diet coke (sugarfree; brilliant creation, invention)

went out for coffee with cous

chit chatted like old retired ladies =D

went home ard 12, cous need to work tomorrow morning

sugar levels hv been going up and down like mad

mainly cause of me being unwell

the tonsils are still hurting

neck is pretty stiff

ear and head ache

trying to give it some time for it to heal on it's own

but definitely head to the doc once i can't tolerate it anymore

the last tonsillitis attack planted a paranoia seed in me

i hated being sick

fever and chills just pulls me deep into the pits of blahsssss

to struggle to sit up straight is a constant struggle

ears and head blocked up

sugar running around like crazy

too sick to be bothered with sugar monitoring even

daphdaph is just lifeless

hopefully no more sick episodes till they find a cure for diabetes

m bored now

sleepy but don't feel like sleeping yet

just wanna surf and relax

prob read a comic book before i hit the sack

wonder what is in stall for tomorrow

another lazy day or a day fill with drama?

never know till i live it

love hugs and kisses

take care

xoxo

daphdaph

update

life is just sweet now

got a new pup; simba

6 months old, male, pomeranian

showing him the same tlc as i have towards pumba

i still miss and love u pumba

would soon post some pics up when i come out from my lazy mode

played futsal with zaza and her friends tonight

it was fun

and hot

most of the time the court is filled with laughter

i like

thanks zaza and zaza's friends

christmas is coming

which only means...

FOOD

mom is roasting a turkey, slurps

once a year occasion

gonna go wild on the food and ignore the sugar levels

7th jan i am jetting off to china to visit my late grandpa's village

looking forward to this trip

will be snapping lots and lots of pics i guess

and shop!!! hehe

gonna go head off and watch avatar; the last air bender now

then sleep

tired tired

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

merry christmas and a happy new yr to u all

have a great one

-daph-daph-

me madmad

emotions comes and goes as they wish nowadays

hormones fluctuating blindly; so does the sugar levels

stress is the main culprit today

if one could, u would see the sugar levels rise steadily too enormous shocking numbers

numbers that could shut one's piehole

all i want to do is let the anger out

i want the stress to turn into endorphins

instead of a frown i want a smile

today is just full of shit

nothing goes my way

what fucks the most is how some people could use their love against ones will

blackmailed by my love ones

my already ripped soul (due to pumba's lost) is being shredded and grinded till dust is all what's left

after a few days this anger would just disappear

but not tonight, i could feel it growing over it's maximum capacity

once let loose, it would be pendora's box 2.0

2 times worse then the original

off to slash till raw skin is left

emo mode kicks in

-daph-

sick daphdaph

couldn't sleep at all due to the pain in my ear and tonsils

still can't swallow

making breathing, eating and drinking hard

i could tell i was having troubles sleeping tonight as when my saliva and mucus/pus pools, it blocks my airways

and at times i would "map" my pillow or blanket

when i try and swallow anything, my eyes shoots open

tears would sometimes flow

it is that agonising

also woke up to a fever, 38.11*C (making good use of the free thermometer i got from accuchek)

i'm tired

my whole body aches

everything feels so heavy

i can't tell if i'm feeling cold or hot

would take a panadol, but can't swallow one

and i fear i'll puke

took a warm shower, hope it helps?

tonsillitis me?

having a hard time swallowing anything

both liquid and solids

every swallow makes my ear and head ache

had a mild fever yesterday

this sucks

drinking and eating is almost impossible now

making controlling sugar levels even harder

had also been having mild diarrhoea a couple of days ago

sucks even more

and i did realised my sugar levels fluctuating more intensely

moral of the story?

sick = super super super bad

hence diabetics = immunocompromised

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

new pup?

went dog hunting today

it was fun and also painful for me

first pair was a silky yorkshire

6 weeks old

black and dark brown

RM1.2k

mum did not liked it

second was a chihuahua

2.5 months old

grey, black and white

RM2.6k

third was a chow chow

1 month plus old

white

RM3.6k

i've got my heart on the chow chow

fat and fluffy

mom love the chow chow too

we are considering about it

but the fact that pumba just passed away; wound is still fresh and raw

i really love to get a chihuahua again, but it reminds me too much of pumba

hurts too much for me

we'll see how things go

if it is faith, then it is meant to be

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

-daph-

RIP pumba, miss you and i love u

random thoughts

before results came out i was super stressed everyday

checking my uni email everyday to see if i needed to sit for a supp or not

when results came out, i was floating on cloud 9

then when pumba passed away yesterday i was devastated and broken in every way possible

it's been a melancholic and stressful week for me

which has also greatly affected my sugar levels

i'm finding it extremely hard to adjust my diet and also my insulin

plus dad has been dragging me for squash almost everyday

holidays aren't much of a holiday

been waking up early and following my parents for breakfast than followed dad to work till after lunch time

can't say much bout following dad to work, but it is hard bringing my insulin pen around

the heat here is HOT HOT HOT

and i'm always so lazy to bring my glucometer around because i do not carry a bag

and it doesn't fits into my pocket

so sometimes i miss my before lunch shots and been missing a whole bunch of glucose readings

yes i know it is super bad...

so i'm planning to get a smaller and easier to bring around glucometer

and try to find a better way to bring my insulin pen around

wish i could afford an insulin pump

life would be a whole lot easier

when for yumcha with jean and jenli earlier today at yoyo

and i'm finding everything super sweet

was hard for me to consume any of the desserts or beverages

i ended up wasting all of it

i miss coke zero so much

wondering when would coke zero arrive malaysia

beverages here are so boring

everything must contain sugar except for water and tea and things that you request to have no sugar added, some shops do not do "no sugar" =.='

i would opt for diet coke, but a tutor once told me that it increases your risk of getting parkinson's... i'm not too sure of how accurate her source is, but i guess it is better safe than sorry

life is depressing this week

p/s i miss u pumba, good night and i love u

love hugs and kisses

take care

xoxo

-daph-

sensing you

for two brief moments, i could feel u bite my thumb again and hear your nails scratch against the granite floors

i miss u pumba

every night i'll wish you good night and tell you how much i love you

that is how deep ur love have buried into my soul

RIP pumba

daph

aching

m still aching and hurting

tears have been flowing

a river flows for u pumba

i miss u

pumba, i miss u

dear pumba

why did u had to leave me

u left without saying goodbye

there is so much more about you i have not got to know

i'm already missing u too much that it hurts so much

my heart is aching

aching for u to come back from heaven and be by my side right now

i miss the way u bite my thumb and lick my palm

i miss the way how u sniff and chew on my toes

i miss the way u climb on me and how ur little legs tickle my tummy

i miss the way how u stare right into my eyes

i miss the way how your face got so near to mine

i miss the way u beg for food, sitting down beside me looking straight at me with your huge black beady eyes

i miss the way u sleep on my tummy

i miss how u lick my shirt and leaves stains on it

i miss how u try so hard to hump my feet

i miss everything about you pumba

u made a huge impact on me

my soul has been permanently remodelled to snuggly fit u in it

everyday i looked forward to see u greet me in the morning when i walk down the stairs

but today it was different

i came running down for u

seeing u there, lifeless, sucked the living soul out of me

now without u here by my side

there is an empty spot in my soul

nothing can ever replace u

it shall forever remain empty now

engraved by u, with love

you'll always be in my heart

engraved by me, with love

tears fall now

unsure when would it stop

heart aches now

not knowing when it would stop

the day is darker than ever now

never knowing when i'll see the light again

every time is see this stain on my shirt

memories of u come pouring into me

i'll miss u forever

pumba

be up there in heaven for me

look down at me for me

be there whenever i need u for me

be happy wherever u are for me

let me feel you for me

let me smell u for me

let me hear u for me

let me sense u for me

rest in peace pumba

i love u

results are out, and i'm happy. great way to start my day

it is a great way to start my day today

hanged out with jenli and sonia since 9pm today

went to 3 different places

place number 1) loklok prince

2) yen ai (ren ai?)

3) upperstar

came out ard 9pm and got back home about 2am

the 3 of us talked and talked, practically about everything =D

it was just nice to gather together and talk bout anything and everything

the 3 of us thinks that we are getting old

we do not understand the young ppl's world anymore

i even said that i'm turning into an old hag =p

haha meh, i believe that deep in me am still young and hip

it needs to be pried out

anyways, results came out at exactly 12am aussie time (10pm malaysia time)

i had my mind on it every since i finished my last paper but i totally let it slipped off me while i was out with my friends

before this, i was constantly checking my uni email to see if i needed a supp exam

but did not received any (huge relief)

then tonight while at upperstar (they had computers and free internet for their customers), i decided to check my results

in me i was freaking out and terrified about it, but did not wanted to show my feelings

kept my cool while my heart beat faster than a humming bird's wings

clicked on "view results"

and the moment of truth.......

I PASSED ALL 6 SUBJECTS

=D huge smile

beaming from one ear to the other

amen, bless the lord

now i've got to start studying again as i would be starting my placement here in SMC this coming feb '10.

gotta head to bed now

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

off to bed with a smile on my face

say hello to pumba~!

did not knew i've got wifi at home till yesterday night....

such a dumbass i am

tut tut

oh wells

now i know

i'll be surfing the net on my mac now, bye bye pc

peeps, say hello to Pumba!~

mom's chihuahua pet =D

cute ain't he?

hehehe

trying to train him now

hopes he learns fast =D

hope you'll love him as much as i do

love hugs and kisses

take care peeps

xoxo

-daph-

a lil sneak peak of life in kk

hey peeps,
m back in kk
it's hot but m loving the food
air-conds rocks the sox off me
i love the food but have not been eating much
the weather is affecting my appetite quite a lot

getting lazier and lazier
being a couch potato
watching astro only

went out for dinner and coffee with ane yesterday
went to the newly opened upperstar at lintas yesterday
the food ain't great
fries were super soggy
chicken chop had too much flour
lamb was too fat
they did not served coffee at night +.+'
they ran out of diet coke
service was slow and poor
but i guess all these is due to the lack of waiters and waitresses?
plus they just opened?
lack of waiter and waitresses training?
lots of room for improvement

anyways, did u guys know how hard it is to get a good cup of ice latte here???
the starbucks here do not use fresh milk.... and they add the ice and milk into the coffee instead of the coffee into the ice then the milk last
it seems like not a big deal, but it actually makes a hugs difference
i miss brisbane's ice latte/ice coffee
coffee bean did not did a good job in serving ice latte too
the coffee did not had that nice aroma
it was just *blah*

oh btw, mom got a chihuahua as a pet =D
would love to upload some pics.. but i did not brought back the usb cable for my phone... will do it when i get the chance

gotta go for lunch nw
ciao ciao

take care
xoxo

home soon

for the first time, i do not know what to search on youtube >.<
m bored
and i do not want to sleep
prefer sleeping on the plane instead

gonna go back home in 9 hours..
soon soon
hopefully i would be able to withstand the weather
tend to easily fall sick or ill in extreme heat
bad bad
falling sick is no where in my things to do list

m bored..
gonna do some random search on youtube after this
anything will do

ciao peeps
the next time i update this blog, i would be doing so from kk

take care peeps

love hugs and kisses
xoxo

tomorrow is coming

ever slept for so long till your head hurts when u wake up?

i love the long hours of pure sleep

but it comes with consequences

sleep vs headache

i think sleep wins single handedly for me

-random thought-

it is the 23rd today

i am 21yrs old and 8 months old

i'll be leaving for kk tomorrow

can't wait to get my sweaty ass back home

indulge on delicious malaysian food

i miss pork!

aussie pork smells >.<

one thing that i'll really miss is the ice coffee~!

m a soon-to-be ice-coffee addict

i just love the strong aromatic taste

delicious

and also the caffeine

(^.^)

gonna try and live a healthy life back home

need to shed a few pounds to look pretty during work and placement =D

gonna increase the stamina too

wonder if i could get enough friends to play futsal together

zaza, we have to play futsal k~~~!!

i love the holidays

i love it when my hands are free

i love it when my brain is relaxed

i love it when i get to sleep

i love everything now

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

the examz have been conqured!

hey peep-os

finally, i'm done with 7 exams... yes SEVEN
m all relieved now
am happy to switch on my manic switch all day long
i can't wipe the smile on my face
it is there no matter what :D
i don't mind it being there, a smile takes less effort than a frown

anyways
it is zaza's birthday today =D
gave her a whole macbook pro box full of chocs
more than 3-4kgs worth of CHOCS
she'll be on a strict choc diet for these few days
everyone thought it was a macbook pro, hehe
surprise pulled off smoothly

played futsal at 2pm
it was awesome, finally some exercise
exercise helps increase the sensitivity towards insulin, so you'll need less units; huge PLUS
but always make sure to check that you sugar levels are in a good level and also that you have enough insulin in your body to avoid ketones from building up.
also be sure you have carbs and glucose in hand just in case u become hypo =D
you gotta care for your body or no one would
and also make sure your mates know how to react in an emergency situation (just in case you pass out)
futsal was pure fun; no artificial flavoring

after playing a few rounds of futsal
the others gave zaza and katek a surprise by bringing cakes =D

didn't had any, watching the sugar
took a few glucose jelly beans during the exam
so did not wanted any extra sugar for the day
staying out from the all hyped up zone

gotta watch the sugar levels again later on, kinda tricky and hard to predict how the sugars react right after a hardcore, running up and down game
and to make it even more complicated, m having pasta for dinner
one of the hardest food ever
sugar levels would be larger and scarier than a rollercoaster ride
unpredictable

oh wells, gotta try my best to understand pasta more
i shall be the pasta whisperer one day

oh, i took a couple of pics today
but sadly, the internet quota is all burnt up..
no uploading pics for now

gotta go shower now...

need to smell good

ciao ciao

have a great summer holz

love hugs and kisses

i is craving

chocolates
i crave for them now

studying is bad
it works up a whole pile of stress for me
more than i can handle
and it's making me hunt for chocolates
there ain't any at home
i would really like to go out and buy some
but the diabetic police would blow the whistle on me

mehhhh
gonna go drown myself in imaginary chocolate

*chomps on imaginary chocolate*

ciao

(^^) up up up away~!

after my paper, mom brought me for an early lunch
i ate a big mac and a single serve tub of yogurt

did not brought my insulin with me
which wasn't a bright idea at all
when i got home, sugar levels spiked up to 16.6 mmol/L
BAD BAD
got me pretty hyped up
i even sent gibberish text messages to rachie, zaza and gloryglorz
haha
that is me being hyperdaph

high sugar levels does so much to me
makes me all hyped up
and the worse thing is, it is super hard to calm myself down
can't even control myself at all
and i won't think before i act or say; very compulsive

got home, and instantly took a shot
am feeling a whole lot better now
not as hyped up as before

so the moral of the story is...
bring your insulin everywhere you go
i need to write it on a post it not and stick it on my forehead
tsk tsk
brain totally affected by all this studying

2 more papers to go
still hanging on

gotta start studying for tomorrow's paper now

take care

love hugs and kisses

my oh my

i could barely open my eyes now

my brain hurts

my head feels heavier than lead

took my 4th exam today

have another 3 more to go

can't give up now

half way through

i can do it!~

aites

all this positive thinking is making my brain ache

gonna take a nap

then start studying again for the next paper

oh btw, a lil update with my diabetic life

i ordered 2 medical alert charm online and it arrived today =D

both charms are the same

one is already hanging on my anklet

and this one below is to clip on my bag (or something else)

front view

&

back view

ME:

DIABETIC

INSULIN

"MARRIED TO NEEDLES"

DL

these charms would save my life one day

get one if you need one

it could too save your life one day

love hugs and kisses

daph

stopping from time to time to look around me

brought mom to the saturday market yesterday around 7am

i love the market; for the nice food not the fresh fruits and vege =D

my mom likes it for it's cheap and fresh fruits & vege

they sell meat and seafood too

i had langos (with cheese, sour cream, garlic, and sweet chilly) again

and a cup of sausage (which i forgotten to snap a pic of, again >.<>

yes, i love my german sausages. it is a must have every time i'm there

after the langos, bought myself a bottle of lemonade to try and mask the garlic breath (^^)

it is crazy delicious!! seriously

everyone needs to try this "krazy lemon"

the first time i had it was years ago, i love it, but i do not drink it all the time cause of the high sugar content

only once in a blue moon, when i really really really want it (i.e yesterday)

this my friends, is a Pedi =D

turkish bread stuff with fillings

in this one it was mushrooms and herbs

did not snapped a good picture of the filling inside

would have snapped a better picture with baby 450D, but the file is just too big to upload

and i've been using most of my internet quota on youtubing and video streaming

anyways, back to the Pedi

it is delicious!~

sandwich grill it and eat it while it is hot

oOoOoOoOoO

every bite toyed with my taste buds

one is a little bit too much for a person, best share it with 2-3 people

"killed by a toothpick"

i love blueberries~

they make nice midnight snacks

helps prevent the hypos from occurring too

it is healthy and high in antioxidant (that was what i heard, too lazy to find out if it is true)

blueberries in malaysia cost a bomb, so m eating as much as i could here in aus

back home, i would be indulging of tropical fruits instead

papaya, guava, tarap, jambu air, mangosteen, rambutan, and the list goes on....

it was yesterday night when i got bored and curious

i've been checking BSL ever since i was diagnosed

but i never stopped to find out what was in the cap of the strip bottles

noise came out every time i shake the bottles

i knew they were beads that "sucks" in moisture, but i never knew how they looked like

this is me being curious

i took a penknife and cut the cardboard beneath the cap

and found a cap full of these itty bitty tiny yellowish-brownish beads

=D now i know what is in the caps

kakaka

m being lame now

aites, gotta continue studying now

take care

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

it's today, world diabetes day

wear blue and support

understand diabetes
imagine living in their shoes

the obstacles they encounter every single day, hour, minute, second
it never gets easier

support world diabetes day =D

meter displays 6.7mmol/L (not 67mg/dL)

that is 2 hours after breakfast =D

that digit puts a huge smile, and it would do the same to any diabetics

knowing that it is controlled; not too high, not too low

a great start for the day

hope your day is as great as mine =D

love hugs and kisses

ciao

-m one proud diabetic-

away with the sorrows, in with a smile

got home slept, woke up for dinner, ate, then slept even more after dinner till 12am.

was still aching inside

then i remembered purchasing an anime dvd a month ago

"The girl who leapt through time"

decided to watch it instead of studying

had 3 exams and another 4 to go

i did mentioned in an earlier post something bout 7 exams wasn't too bad

and also did add in that i would regret saying it

now i absolutely regret it

god damnit, 7 exams is just too much for me to handle right now

the stress is harder to cope then imagined

this is me doubting myself after the "that" paper

gotta pull my socks and pants even higher now

anyways about the anime

it was awesome, mind blowing

got me off the edge

i love it!!

not gonna put any spoilers here

go find it out yourself

i highly recommend this movie

this movie took a huge load of pain away and put a smile on my face

it affected me that much

wish i had someone to cuddle right now

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

friday the 13th

2 news today

1) thank lord for gluco jelly beans or i would have shacked like mad due to a hypo

2) don't think i did well enough for this paper

i hate it

tried so hard to study and remember everything

but it seems like the effort never pays off

or the plain fact is that the brain ain't smart or hardcore enough for pharmacy?

m tired and pissed

mixed emotions too

super stressed out and depressed

i despise everything now

i wanna just drown myself in sorrow

till i become numb all over

till nothing around me matters

till everything disappears

till i lay flat and cold

such flood of emo-ness

life sucks a lot today

looking for a wishing star to wish upon

for a better tomorrow and also a better week

stay tune for the next post...

might be a cheerier one

hugs and kisses peeps

ciao

p/s friday the 13th; hence the dulness?

oral exam, "coles employee", prick prick

finished my 2nd exam

UTI in a pregnant lady... change medication due to contraindications

and Ural sachets... safe in pregnant women? no idea... the examiner kept on asking if it was safe or not... can't find anything in the AMH

so i stupidly said "i'm not sure, but i think it is" then at the end i added "if you would like to leave your number, i'll find it out and give you a call to reconfirm"

i hope i didn't went too bad

all i want is a pass

anyways, after exam, mom came to pick me up

headed to Toowong Village for lunch and daily walk around Coles

walking is a good exercise =D

"find your 30mins"

i was still in my student pharmacy uniform

and suddenly a guy came to me with an item in his hand

he gave me a stare, stood in front of me, then gave me a huge smile

he said "oh, haha i thought you were an employee here"

i gave him this blur look, then realised exactly what happened and why would he confused me as a coles employee

for some reason, my faculty decided that it is a cool thing to copy cole's uniform

ughhhh the colour & the cutting; a photo copy design

lame

huge fashion disaster

anyways, gonna try and catch up with some sleep in a couple

5 more papers to conquer

"all the best daphdaph"

will update soon

maybe tonight when m procrastinating (which i always do)

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

oh a little update on my daily diabetes life

- life has been pretty whacked out, out of order that is

not eating at the right time

not sleeping well

forgetting insulin shots

but the sugar levels are all good, not wild ones, no hypos too

the only problem is, i need to find other sites to prick besides my fingers... they are starting to

hurt, even from the salt on popcorns sends a jolt T.T

i tried my toes, but it's so much harder to get an adequate amount of blood

the arms gave to blood at all

need to get a new lancet device specially for arm and other sites pricking

orites, off to bed now

sayonara

magic mice

went to the next byte shop at uni on monday to get myself a magic mice

but it was totally sold out and their next batch order only arrives on the 16th

i needed a mice desperately as my old one wasn't functioning well at all

hence, i went and get it online instead

straight from apple

i placed my order on monday arvo and guess what, i arrived today via TNT this morning =D

it only took 2 days!!!

i love my new magic mice

it is awesome!!

pure genius

apple, you have once again amused me

tickled every nerve in me

and the jolt of excitement when i laid my fingers on the the mice for the very first time

speechless

i love i heart i like

i hope this mice would have a long life, as i have killed 3 mighty mouse in the last 3 years

all due to the excessive scrolling up, down, left & right pdf and word files/documents for assignments

anyways, oral exam tomorrow >.<

scary shit

gonna go try and study now

ciao

oh my~ could have went to heaven~~

in the midst of playing bejeweled blitz on facebook

something came hopping into mind

a couple months ago, i wan't a regular BSL checker

i hated pricking my fingers >8 times a day

because:

it caused my fingers to look ugly (you can see tiny red dots)

it hurts when i do play the guitar

and basically finger pricking is painful!

well before that i did not even knew i had to check my BSL so often due to the lack of education from my previous doctors back home

it seems like they did not took it seriously and they did not see Diabetes as a chronic disease

it could be mainly cause it wasn't their speciality too (that i can't blame them)

if the GP here did not insisted that i went and see an endocrinologist

i wouldn't probably be here anymore

or i could be suffering from tremendous complications

it was only recently that i started checking my BSL regularly

after being hit by reality and had my eyes opened

it is time to take charge of life

during the winter holidays (june-july)

i participated in the National Conference Games (NCG)

and i never did knew that a diabetic shouldn't exercise or participate in any sports at all when her/his BSL is above 16mmol/L, as it may cause ketoacidosis

i joined ping pong, futsal and basketball for NCG

and played hardcore!

futsal and basketball back to back

not eating or hydrating properly during the games

and the worst part was i never checked my BSL once

had no idea if my BSL was too high or low to play sports

the night after the games, i started feeling very sick but it never occur to me that i could be in a ketoacidosis state; till today

i am very grateful that i did not fell into a diabetic coma which might have lead to death

so, the moral of the story is...

despite how much you hate pricking and testing your BSL

it is very IMPORTANT to test your BSL regularly

it saves life

ugly fingers and the pain from finger pricking is nothing compared to your life

for those who do not know what ketoacidosis is:

click here

=D am feeling uber lazy to explain

and wiki does a good job at explaining stuff

moannnsssss

trying to study here right now

but my neighbor, lovely neighbor, decided to have sex

she moans too much

he has no feeling? (cause i have never heard a sound from him before)

or it could be that she taped over his mouth? you know, foreplay

oh god

corrupting my mind while i'm trying to read on common upper respiratory tract infections...

oh wells,

i can't find what was wrong with me early, i guess i would ask the GP if i do remember at my next visit

ciao

plain weird...

something funny is happening

i feel super sick now

nauseating

the feeling of feeling like throwing up makes me feel sick to the stomach

neck muscles aches like hell

and my mouth taste metallic

and sugar levels are dropping from 10.7 mmol/L to 8.0 mmol/L to 7.0 mmol/L in 38mins

i did no exercise except walking around coles and woolies with mommy

it certainly doesn't seems like a hypo for now

this is really something new to me

like i said, every step is a learning experience

will try and search the net and figure out what is happening

then would post another entry when i DO find out

m&ms

sat for my first exam yesterday
wasn't too bad, i hope
five more papers and an oral to go

i think i'm more of a positive exam person this yr
starting to realise 7 exams isn't that bad
i know i'll regret saying after a few more papers
but this is me trying to be positive and strong

have not realy started studying for the next 2 exams...
feeling super laid back now
i need to kick it up several notches

i couldn't hold back today
i gave in and bought myself a pack of m&ms crisp
gave up carbs during diner and supper to enjoy it and avoid the BSL rollercoaster ride
sugar levels for yesterday stayed below 10 mmol/l
which ain't too bad
but it did went to 4.7 mmol/l after i woke up from one of my afternoon naps, and only had a small plate of fried meehoon (vermicelli) for lunch

anyways, i heart dinner yesterday
had meatballs =D
a small tub of organic yogurt
and a small bowl of grape and cherry tomatoes (they are TASTY)

my eyes were too tired yesterday night, and couldn't just concentrate on studying
so i took another nap
and woke up around 4am
it's 5am now, and i've only read 2 lecture notes... many many more to go

gonna study for another hour or so? then head back to bed and wake up before lunch time
hopefully i do not oversleep like i always do
sleep is the best medicine for any students (coffee 2nd in line?)

aites
procrastinated long enough
gonna dive back in to study mode

p/s: did not ate the whole pack of m&ms at once... divided into 3 smaller portions

take care guys & gals
xoxo

tough and sulky day

it's one of those bad days

it is just bad

when m stressed out

and gotta do things that i don't want to

i stress out even more

i could feel everything in me trying to burst and just scream it off

but it ain't fair for the other who would be screamed at

so i try my best to just keep it in

the more i keep it in

the more stressful i get

the more stressful i get

the more cravings i crave

walked pass mcD and for some reason everywhere i looked, there were a mcD soft served cone or sundae

it's a calling to feed my obsessive cravings

i need something cold and SWEET

sweet tooth moment #540245021272507127587024557

it is the worst moment one could ever endure

it is fine if you could actually have something nice and sweet without feeling the guilt and consequences

but it would never be that way ever

it is worse when there is a "diabetic police" around

they constantly get on your back

yap yap yap yap yap

yapping about how high in sugar it is or how it would make your sugar levels rocket in space

it kinda makes me feel very angry (i think that is what i'm feeling)

what can one do around here to catch a break and actually have something sweet

moody and sulking now

how i wish there is a chocolate sunday ice cream in my hands

had not had one in yearsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

the one time i actually really really really want it, i couldn't

this sucks

waiting for sweet tooth moment to pass ASAP

"do you live to eat or do you eat to live?"

so emo right now (o.O)

blahssssssssssss

the drive to study has poofed into thin air

my saturday

all nighter pulled off

and went to the market when the mommy woke up, which was around 6am

it was already bright and sunny by then

loved the clouds

nice and clear

For breakfast i had:

langos (cheese, garlic, sour cream and a touch of sweet chilly sauce)

and a cup of german sausages =D

the best ever

i kept on reminding myself to snap a pic before i took a bite, but it totally slipped my mind when i took it in my hands

instantly with a fork, i poke into a sausage and feed it to my mouth

*oooOOOooOOoOoOoOoOoOoO*

nom nom nom till all is gone, till i remembered that i was suppose to take a picture of it

so here is a pic of an empty cup that was once filled with german sausages

bought 2 pedi (stuffed turkish bread), hv not snapped a pic of it yet

gonna have it for supper or breakfast =D *slurps*

got homeard 9am, and went to bed till 5pm

woke up feeling like i'm gonna fall sick ='|

*fingers crossed* do not need to be sick now......

ate tea with the mommy

and then went for a walk by the river with her

another picture of the clouds

i'm obsessed with clouds

pretty flowers =D

never took note of these steps before

do you notice anything wrong with it?

half black, half white

was it made intentionally or it colored?/discolored? naturally

graffiti

- out of order-

random picture of a vintage looking like door

i love the hinges

gonna have a super super late dinner soon

then start studying again =D

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

a normal day

i love today

no highs or lows

just normal

to some ppl, normal (when used in everyday context) is blah-boring

but to a diabetic, when it comes to blood sugar levels, normal is awesome!

i love normal

makes me happier than ever

i've been youtubing a lot on insulin pumps

it gets me pretty envious

and now, i'm super tempted to get one

but the only thing stopping me is the $$$-moolah

i'm an international uni student (nil income)

and unlike australian citizens, i've got no health benefits

am only covered by oshc insurance

and i don't think they would cover the full cost for an insulin pump

i'm not too sure how much one does actually cost, but it could reach to aud$5k

$5000 in cold hard cash @.@

for now, i guess it's a dream for me

sticking to insulin pens and 4 shots a day (that ain't too bad ^^)

any hows, m gonna head back to studying

then bring the mommy to the market to get some fresh vege and breakfast =p

the sherwood market sales awesome german sausages and also fresh turkish bread that has stuffings in it =D

tried the mushroom & herb turkish bread last week, and it is TO DIE FOR!!!~~~

gonna try the olives and cheese one later on

ooo~LALA

food = ORGASMIC

*but keeping in mind to always count the carbs =D

it's a pity i've got no pics to share with you guys, maybe later i would snap some, if i don't get over distracted by the deliciously mouth watering food

it is like me being a kid in a candy store

gonna continue with the studying now~~

all the best to all students who are having their first exam paper today~

toodles peeps

love hugs and kisses

=(

everyone has their own unique hypo (low blood sugar) signs and symptoms

been experiencing a few hypos these couple of nights
i guess it could be due to the lack of appetite? and also the late nights i've been pulling off
concentrating too hard, and not bothering to stop for a snack to keep my sugars up

i realized that the very first thing i experience is i start to shake a little
then it gets "stronger"
and then my extremities feels "cold"
then my neck muscles gets stiff
and i get really really moody
i will snap at anyone for no reason (which i just did when my mom opened my door >.< sorry mummy)

gonna eat a few pretzels before i go to bed
i do not wanna fall into a diabetic coma while i'm asleep =|

biom3011 14/18 lecture notes more to study.... i'm going really really really slow
gambateh~~!!! daph-san

experimenting on a rainy day

this is me

i would rather take my baby EOS450D out and experiment around than study for a very important final exam

this is not normal, or is it?

its been quite awhile since i played with my cameras

missing the thrill

long exposure

wanted to get that "glowy" effect from the lights of the apartments opposite mine

took this using my pinhole lens

its been a very very very long time since i used it, mainly cause i do not have a tripod

another fun picture

and another with more poses around

m not sure if it is due to the rain or if it's cause i've used up my quota

but these 4 pics took me ages to upload...

maybe it is also due to the size of the image...

hmm hope i still have enough quota to feed my youtube obsession

studying biom3011 now

soooooooo much to remember... my head hurts every time i try to enter a new information in

aites m heading back to studying

and i hope u enjoy the "fun" pics i uploaded for you guys

love hugs and kisses

oh where oh where have you gone $$

$280.50 - 25 pens of novorapid

$32.95 - 50 strips of accu-chek advantage

$485 - 25 pens of lantus

$12.50 - 100 of softclix lancets

$25 - 100 0f BD micro-fine needles

$32 - 100 of novofine needles

These are how much my stuff cost (average price)

i would spend an average of

$33.60 (novofine needles) + $7.50 (BD microfine needles) + $12.50 (softclix lancets) + $38.80 (lantus) + $158.16 (accu-chek advantage) + $11.20 (novorapid)

= $251.76 per month

don't use alcohol swabs, so i save money on that =D

such a bad habit..

you should really use alcohol swabs to clean the site of injection and also finger pricking, to decrease and avoid the risk of infections

$251.76 per month!!

i'm very grateful for my awesome parents

they've been supporting me throughout all these years since i was first diagnosed

thank you daddy and mummy, i love you both

unconditioned love is constantly being showered over me

i don't know how am i able to give back to you both the way you gave me

i wonder how would i support myself when i step into the working world?

would i be able to earn enough to pay off everything and support myself?

got to find a rich husband who is able to support me and also provide all the care i need (^^)"

oh wells, shouldn't think about work just yet

got to concentrate on graduating first

but before that, i got to focus on passing my third year final exams now

off to bury me poor little head into a pile of notes

*dig dig dig, bury bury bury*

adios

take care peeps

and all the best to all who are having exams

love hugs and kisses

bigger, tougher, meaner

woke up and took a shower

when i realized my bruise got meaner >.<

now it really got me thinking

what actually happened??

hmm could it be bubbles in my insulin? (don't think there were any..)

or did i hit a nerve? (there wasn't any pain)

or was i sleep walking and got myself into a fight? (not likely, coz i sleep like a pig)

such things like this gets my mind up and running...

curiosity hits harder than tsunami or hiroshima bomb

ladidada~~!

to hunt for answers or to just forget bout it and concentrate on studies?

exams are around the corner, and i'm still kicking it back and taking my sweet time

i know i'll pay for it cold and hard later on

oh wells... it is just me being lazy and a procrastinator

ciaos

off to lunch

xoxo

low low

it's 2.53am
started feeling all shaky and unwell
and also a lil confused and blurry
can't type properly nor could i snap a proper picture
but i tried my best

first think i did when i started feeling unwell and shaky
check my blood sugar levels


pricking my finger got a lil tougher
had to pricked it twice cause i couldn't get enough blood out the first time
second time was a success

then waited for the glucometer to give me a reading

and ta-daa
4.4mmol/L
kinda low


next thing to do is look for food~~!!!
so i won't pass out and suffer from complications
it is now 3.00am, and my mom is asleep... got to take care of myself or no one will
(haha and i doubt that zaza will come running all the way from st. lucia to toowong to save me during this ungodly hour)

no wonder it took a lot more effort to concentrate with what i'm trying to study
@.@

hopefully after grabbing a bite, my sugar levels won't go spiking up high.

a hypo should not be taken lightly, especially when u r a diabetic.
be aware and know the symptoms of a hypo
and also know what to do when u r experiencing a hypo

discuss it with your doctor or a diabetic educator

and tell the ppl around u about a hypo and what to do


off to feed myself now
xoxo
take care

mean bruise

hello hello

it was friday when i took a shot after lunch

was doing it while i was standing up, it did not hurt at all

but it gave me a mean bruise (lol, and yes za, it's not due to futsal, just wanted to make zoe feel bad =p)

it's monday today and the bruise is still there

sexy hor my mean bruise?

(^^)

ok, not back to studies... and more procrastination in between

love hugs and kisses

good luck to all who are having exams this week, and also all the best to those studying in SWOT vac week

just a sudden thought

smokers, i know none would stop when they are not prepared too

but what if someone close to you, maybe a loved one, whom have never smoked before in his/her life, but have been diagnosed with lung cancer?

a lung cancer that is caused by second hand smoking?

second hand smoke from YOU!

would u have stopped earlier no matter what and when?

they love you;

some love you and told u to quit hoping that u would

some love you and not utter a word about ur smoking habits because they know that what they say would hurt or offend u, which they do not want too

it would be too late to turn back time and quit when in present you could loss her/him due to ur smoking habits

Hypo does bad

One tree turning brown as if it was autumn, and another fully bloomed in spring.

The things that makes me wonder, makes me think, and also which eventually makes my head hurt.

The things that i would eventually fade away from memory unless reminisce every once in a while.

My raw wound. Freshly scraped knee while playing netball with a few of my friends.

Tripped over zuzu's long praying mantis like legs. thank lord it was nothing more serious than just a scrape.

My one day old wound. Healing pretty well, thank lord. Trying to take care of it the best i could to avoid infections.

Played a lil fun futsal today at oval 7 (which we got shooed off) & munro field. Was laughing at everything till my tummy hurts (^^)

Helps release stress and tension but it gave me a few aches here and there.

Not stretching before playing is the main culprit.

This morning was one crappy crap crap day for me. BSL wasn't too low, but kinda low. Cleaned myself up and brushed my teeth before i had lunch; woke up around 12.30pm (would have slept longer, but my mom came into my room to wake me up), was pretty tired cause i went to bed around 5am.

Am not sure why, but when i saw sausages and toast bread for lunch, i got pretty grumpy and started snapping around. I wanted something more"lunchy" than "breaky". I won't usually make a fuss/deal over it.. but i guess low sugar levels does "damaging" stuff.

We can't control how our sugar levels act when we nap, and it's super hard to keep it at a normal range. I apologize if i do become an arse at times, but please understand, it is unintended.

Super hungry tonight.

Gonna start studying in a while.

Take care.

xoxo

i want this for christmas

i are is wants a dexcom sensor!!
i no want to prick prick anymore fingers..
but sad sad, not dexcom yet here in aus aus...
i too want an omnipod, but it too have not arrived aus aus.. apa lagi malaysia

feels the pressure in me

i couldn't believe that it is harder to find a placement site than to get a job in a hospital.
the people i contacted did not had the authority to ding the agreement, and to sign an agreement they would have to call for a board meeting which is just too much trouble for them to go through.
therefore, agreement is left unsigned, but instead they are happy to offer me a job during the summer.
m devastated, i can't content it
all i wanna do is just burst and let it all out
i wanna hit something, i wanna scream, i wanna cry
this is how bad i wanted to do my placement back home

m giving it another try in another hospital back home
i'm happy there is another opportunity
but what if they can't sign the agreement too?
another rejection would crush me into pieces
i will break; no doubt there

lost my appetite for dinner today
feeling so grumpy and hurt
stress is catching up with me?
can't concentrate in anything i do
apa lagi kalau nak belajar dalam situasi gini?
ilmu akan masuk dan terus keluar ja.

staring blankly into my notes
wishing and praying hard that a miracle would happen

one moment; one thought

thought for the moment

m feeling that my brain has really grown old
it is slowing down not by a notch, but a few notches
i really need to exercise my brain before it totally dies on me

how to exercise the brain?
brain teaser games!!!
(korek korek nds out)
=D play games instead of studying... not too wise, since exams are just around the corner....

rainy rainy day

GP appointment at 1pm today

and it was pouring rain when i was on my way to uni

the windows on the bus got all fogged up and the bus driver had difficulties looking at the road

>.<" not cool at all

but got to uni in one pice =D

head to the clinic with my tiny one-person-umbrella above my head

i did not failed to get wet at all; but not drenched

the appointment with the doctor was nice and pleasant =D kinda therapeutic too

usually most of the appointments would last for about 5-10 mins, but mine lasted for more than 30 mins.. (should i feel special?)

doc and i discussed bout:

- how the sugar levels are for the past week

- the diet (NB pasta are a NO NO from now on)

- the insulin that had precipitation in it

- seeing an eye specialist when i return next yr

- seeing the doc more often

- be more active

- to go see a GP whenever i fell unwell

- seeing her once more after exams before i return home

after my appointment i headed for tutorial at 2pm which lasted for 2 hours

then to a lecture from 4pm to 5pm.

the bus ride home took ages

traffic congestion

finally reached home around 5.45pm

and my tummy grumbling

can't wait for dinner, could smell the aroma from mom's cooking

grumble grumble more

oh, and note to self, should really avoid getting wet by the rain

tend to get horrible headaches @.@

days out w/o my babies, thank lord for mistress phone

lots of the days i would not bring any of my babies out coz they can't fit into my bag

but fear not, there is still mistress phone to snap pics with =D

love this picture a lot

was walking home from the bus stop, when i just had to stop and take a picture of this

it's 2 totally different tree species living together in harmony on a very tiny piece of land

i wonder why some people with different color/culture/religion can't live together in peace and synchrony

a world without war

this is a jacaranda tree

when fully blossomed, you can't take you eyes of it

it's purple flowers are breathtaking

it blossoms in spring, nearing exam period

so if you see jacarandas around u, it's a sign that you should start studying

there is this myth where they believe that if a jacaranda flower drops on your head, you would fail your exams =|

to believe or not to believe?

meh, i believe if u study hard enough for ur exam, you'll do fine

i was bored and was just staring at all the stuff i had on my study table, and realized that about 80% of it are my diabetes stuff

like all the many many youtube videos i watched (should really be studying instead ^^), they tend to include a picture of a month's supply of their diabetes stuff? equipment? utensils (lol)?

so i decided to snap a pic of my stuff too, but this is no where near one month's supply

it's more like a week or two?

this pic puts a smile on my face

i don't know why, but it just does

the reflection of a cloud on a very reflective building

i guess you do not have to smile for a reason

=D *beaming from one ear to another*

despite the highs and lows

m not letting anything hold me back from living life to the fullest

>.<

ahakz... should be studying now~~~

ciao ciao

bread no good good

hey

woke up in the morning feeling all lousy

BSL was around 5.3?

tummy had a frown

hard to brush my teeth and feeling shaky

but managed to have breakfast so that mom won't worry and i won't pass out while on my way to uni

had a slice of bread with a sausage

BSL after 2 hours? = 12.8!~ wooowwwwwww it's either increase insulin aspart or avoid bread

don't really know how to manage the carbs yet

time is scarce, therefore unable to seek help from a diabetes educator =(

anyone wanna educate me via msn? hola me (^^)

8am lecture.... opthalmology

the lecturer spoke super fast, it was hard to take down all the notes

tried my best and managed to do an alright job i guess

got another lecture at 1pm; leaving a 4 hour break in between... i would hv stayed, but got influenced by rachie to skip the lecture

haha yups, m that easy to be influenced

so went home straight after lecture, checked email and fb

then decided to post a little entry

wanted to post up some pics i took with my phone but just couldn't transfer the files over to my macbook. gotta use the imac later on when i've got the time (actually, m just being lazy)

- and yes m a mac person, who is a windows illiterate-

feeling so sleepy now, might take a nap after this

eyes slowly drowsing away -.-zzz

p/s: m staring at my blackbird, wondering when would i have the chance to play with it T.T

it's still sitting there staring at me like a slutty virgin, can't wait to be popped.

it's time for my nap time

-peace out-

the smell after rain

weekend ain't much of a happening period
instead of partying and having fun, it's more like burying my head deep into notes
study is my number one activity

juju invited for netball a few days back
which i went from 5.30pm to 7.30pm
it drizzled at first at the start which stopped pretty quick
then it started to rain pretty heavily towards the end
got wet, wet enough to give me a headache and a slight temperature; which was resolved with the help of paracetamol
got home, cooked dinner, ate dinner, shower, and back to studies
then ane came online and we chat =D
miss ane lots! wish she could be here with me or me be there with her

kinda hungry now, but couldn't think of anything to eat, and just do not want to take the extra finger pricks and tummy jabbing

being a huge whiner lately

down in the lows then up in the highs..

this morning wasn't quite fun..

reading was low in the morning when i woke up, had to miss breakfast as i was running late for an 8am lecture.

felt a lot better when i had the chance to grab a sandwich

for lunch my friends and i tried the new jap cafe that opened on campus.. ate katsudon (deep fried minced beef patty on a bed on fresh cabbage and rice + jap mayo and bulldog sauce)

and zaza had chicken teriyaki (that looked nothing like the picture on the menu)

the food wasn't too bad; edible.

glorz brought lunch from home and rachie only had iced coffee cause she was gonna go on a date with milky

anyways, after lunch i was gonna take my insulin aspart but then realised they were precipitation!!! ppt were like - "i'm swimming, i'm swimming, swimming swimming swimming."

at first i hesitated; "to take, or not to take?"

but decided not too take after asking a friend and also the pharmacist on campus

sugar levels went up to 18? which got me pretty hyper in lecture

i was restlesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss (^^)

but it was all good when my background (glargine) started kicking end =D

got home, got another aspart out from the fridge, and it's ready to rock and roll now

not too sure what to have for dinner, grilled fish? or instant noodles? or take outs?

gonna do some cramming session tonight; getting prepared to battle the Examus Fianale War '09 (meh m going a lil crazy now)

aites the highs and lows aite good, the normals = AWESOMeOUS!

oo credits to my glucometer; amen to this device that helps me keep track of my BSL -i lub u-

xoxo

=D