on christmas day

merry christmas peeps =D

love the roast turkey and carrots

coleslaw

salad

grilled sausages

cream of mushroom soup

homemade bread

salad prawns

smoked salmon

this is what i call soulfood

100% homecooked by mom

stuffed myself till no space is left

didn't cared bout the carbs and sugar (well nothing really contained much sugar, and only had a bun, no other carbs)

ate lots of turkey and roasted carrots (my fav)

drank diet coke (sugarfree; brilliant creation, invention)

went out for coffee with cous

chit chatted like old retired ladies =D

went home ard 12, cous need to work tomorrow morning

sugar levels hv been going up and down like mad

mainly cause of me being unwell

the tonsils are still hurting

neck is pretty stiff

ear and head ache

trying to give it some time for it to heal on it's own

but definitely head to the doc once i can't tolerate it anymore

the last tonsillitis attack planted a paranoia seed in me

i hated being sick

fever and chills just pulls me deep into the pits of blahsssss

to struggle to sit up straight is a constant struggle

ears and head blocked up

sugar running around like crazy

too sick to be bothered with sugar monitoring even

daphdaph is just lifeless

hopefully no more sick episodes till they find a cure for diabetes

m bored now

sleepy but don't feel like sleeping yet

just wanna surf and relax

prob read a comic book before i hit the sack

wonder what is in stall for tomorrow

another lazy day or a day fill with drama?

never know till i live it

love hugs and kisses

take care

xoxo

daphdaph

update

life is just sweet now

got a new pup; simba

6 months old, male, pomeranian

showing him the same tlc as i have towards pumba

i still miss and love u pumba

would soon post some pics up when i come out from my lazy mode

played futsal with zaza and her friends tonight

it was fun

and hot

most of the time the court is filled with laughter

i like

thanks zaza and zaza's friends

christmas is coming

which only means...

FOOD

mom is roasting a turkey, slurps

once a year occasion

gonna go wild on the food and ignore the sugar levels

7th jan i am jetting off to china to visit my late grandpa's village

looking forward to this trip

will be snapping lots and lots of pics i guess

and shop!!! hehe

gonna go head off and watch avatar; the last air bender now

then sleep

tired tired

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

merry christmas and a happy new yr to u all

have a great one

-daph-daph-

me madmad

emotions comes and goes as they wish nowadays

hormones fluctuating blindly; so does the sugar levels

stress is the main culprit today

if one could, u would see the sugar levels rise steadily too enormous shocking numbers

numbers that could shut one's piehole

all i want to do is let the anger out

i want the stress to turn into endorphins

instead of a frown i want a smile

today is just full of shit

nothing goes my way

what fucks the most is how some people could use their love against ones will

blackmailed by my love ones

my already ripped soul (due to pumba's lost) is being shredded and grinded till dust is all what's left

after a few days this anger would just disappear

but not tonight, i could feel it growing over it's maximum capacity

once let loose, it would be pendora's box 2.0

2 times worse then the original

off to slash till raw skin is left

emo mode kicks in

-daph-

sick daphdaph

couldn't sleep at all due to the pain in my ear and tonsils

still can't swallow

making breathing, eating and drinking hard

i could tell i was having troubles sleeping tonight as when my saliva and mucus/pus pools, it blocks my airways

and at times i would "map" my pillow or blanket

when i try and swallow anything, my eyes shoots open

tears would sometimes flow

it is that agonising

also woke up to a fever, 38.11*C (making good use of the free thermometer i got from accuchek)

i'm tired

my whole body aches

everything feels so heavy

i can't tell if i'm feeling cold or hot

would take a panadol, but can't swallow one

and i fear i'll puke

took a warm shower, hope it helps?

tonsillitis me?

having a hard time swallowing anything

both liquid and solids

every swallow makes my ear and head ache

had a mild fever yesterday

this sucks

drinking and eating is almost impossible now

making controlling sugar levels even harder

had also been having mild diarrhoea a couple of days ago

sucks even more

and i did realised my sugar levels fluctuating more intensely

moral of the story?

sick = super super super bad

hence diabetics = immunocompromised

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

new pup?

went dog hunting today

it was fun and also painful for me

first pair was a silky yorkshire

6 weeks old

black and dark brown

RM1.2k

mum did not liked it

second was a chihuahua

2.5 months old

grey, black and white

RM2.6k

third was a chow chow

1 month plus old

white

RM3.6k

i've got my heart on the chow chow

fat and fluffy

mom love the chow chow too

we are considering about it

but the fact that pumba just passed away; wound is still fresh and raw

i really love to get a chihuahua again, but it reminds me too much of pumba

hurts too much for me

we'll see how things go

if it is faith, then it is meant to be

love hugs and kisses

xoxo

-daph-

RIP pumba, miss you and i love u

random thoughts

before results came out i was super stressed everyday

checking my uni email everyday to see if i needed to sit for a supp or not

when results came out, i was floating on cloud 9

then when pumba passed away yesterday i was devastated and broken in every way possible

it's been a melancholic and stressful week for me

which has also greatly affected my sugar levels

i'm finding it extremely hard to adjust my diet and also my insulin

plus dad has been dragging me for squash almost everyday

holidays aren't much of a holiday

been waking up early and following my parents for breakfast than followed dad to work till after lunch time

can't say much bout following dad to work, but it is hard bringing my insulin pen around

the heat here is HOT HOT HOT

and i'm always so lazy to bring my glucometer around because i do not carry a bag

and it doesn't fits into my pocket

so sometimes i miss my before lunch shots and been missing a whole bunch of glucose readings

yes i know it is super bad...

so i'm planning to get a smaller and easier to bring around glucometer

and try to find a better way to bring my insulin pen around

wish i could afford an insulin pump

life would be a whole lot easier

when for yumcha with jean and jenli earlier today at yoyo

and i'm finding everything super sweet

was hard for me to consume any of the desserts or beverages

i ended up wasting all of it

i miss coke zero so much

wondering when would coke zero arrive malaysia

beverages here are so boring

everything must contain sugar except for water and tea and things that you request to have no sugar added, some shops do not do "no sugar" =.='

i would opt for diet coke, but a tutor once told me that it increases your risk of getting parkinson's... i'm not too sure of how accurate her source is, but i guess it is better safe than sorry

life is depressing this week

p/s i miss u pumba, good night and i love u

love hugs and kisses

take care

xoxo

-daph-

sensing you

for two brief moments, i could feel u bite my thumb again and hear your nails scratch against the granite floors

i miss u pumba

every night i'll wish you good night and tell you how much i love you

that is how deep ur love have buried into my soul

RIP pumba

daph

aching

m still aching and hurting

tears have been flowing

a river flows for u pumba

i miss u

pumba, i miss u

dear pumba

why did u had to leave me

u left without saying goodbye

there is so much more about you i have not got to know

i'm already missing u too much that it hurts so much

my heart is aching

aching for u to come back from heaven and be by my side right now

i miss the way u bite my thumb and lick my palm

i miss the way how u sniff and chew on my toes

i miss the way u climb on me and how ur little legs tickle my tummy

i miss the way how u stare right into my eyes

i miss the way how your face got so near to mine

i miss the way u beg for food, sitting down beside me looking straight at me with your huge black beady eyes

i miss the way u sleep on my tummy

i miss how u lick my shirt and leaves stains on it

i miss how u try so hard to hump my feet

i miss everything about you pumba

u made a huge impact on me

my soul has been permanently remodelled to snuggly fit u in it

everyday i looked forward to see u greet me in the morning when i walk down the stairs

but today it was different

i came running down for u

seeing u there, lifeless, sucked the living soul out of me

now without u here by my side

there is an empty spot in my soul

nothing can ever replace u

it shall forever remain empty now

engraved by u, with love

you'll always be in my heart

engraved by me, with love

tears fall now

unsure when would it stop

heart aches now

not knowing when it would stop

the day is darker than ever now

never knowing when i'll see the light again

every time is see this stain on my shirt

memories of u come pouring into me

i'll miss u forever

pumba

be up there in heaven for me

look down at me for me

be there whenever i need u for me

be happy wherever u are for me

let me feel you for me

let me smell u for me

let me hear u for me

let me sense u for me

rest in peace pumba

i love u

results are out, and i'm happy. great way to start my day

it is a great way to start my day today

hanged out with jenli and sonia since 9pm today

went to 3 different places

place number 1) loklok prince

2) yen ai (ren ai?)

3) upperstar

came out ard 9pm and got back home about 2am

the 3 of us talked and talked, practically about everything =D

it was just nice to gather together and talk bout anything and everything

the 3 of us thinks that we are getting old

we do not understand the young ppl's world anymore

i even said that i'm turning into an old hag =p

haha meh, i believe that deep in me am still young and hip

it needs to be pried out

anyways, results came out at exactly 12am aussie time (10pm malaysia time)

i had my mind on it every since i finished my last paper but i totally let it slipped off me while i was out with my friends

before this, i was constantly checking my uni email to see if i needed a supp exam

but did not received any (huge relief)

then tonight while at upperstar (they had computers and free internet for their customers), i decided to check my results

in me i was freaking out and terrified about it, but did not wanted to show my feelings

kept my cool while my heart beat faster than a humming bird's wings

clicked on "view results"

and the moment of truth.......

I PASSED ALL 6 SUBJECTS

=D huge smile

beaming from one ear to the other

amen, bless the lord

now i've got to start studying again as i would be starting my placement here in SMC this coming feb '10.

gotta head to bed now

love hugs and kisses

-daph-

off to bed with a smile on my face